Fun with Extra Large

Fun with Extra Large

A regular history of Extra Large:
Here’s a story.
Once upon a time there was regular. Regular said “I’m hungry”. The more Regular fed, the more rotund it became. Soon, it was 32 ounces, double patties, and 60 inch bolts of fabric. And so it makes sense that from the loins of ounces, doubles, and bolts came that which we call extra large.
By this story it is fair to conclude that extra large exists in and of it self and quite possibly has been around as far back as 1992. Let us further explore its realm and allow it to explain itself.

Exercises:
Many words have prefixes. The prefix to Extra Large is in fact Extra. Let us define extra.
Extra Terrestrial = out of this world. In this case, extra means ‘out of.’
Extraordinary = unusual, not at all ordinary. In this case, extra means ‘not at all.’
Extract = cut out. In this case, extra means ‘ut ou’.
Extra sugar free gum = better than Wrigleys. And so extra means ‘better than.’
By these definitions, we conclude that Extra means ‘not at all out of, but better than ut ou.’

Now that we have defined ‘extra’, lets explore ‘large’. Since large is in and of itself its own definition, we can find meaning by those words which rhyme with it.
Barge = both a big boat and to enter uninvited. Here large means ‘uninvited boat’
Farge = falsify, create, kiln. We see here that large means to ‘create a fake furnace.’
Garge = where one parks ones car. Large means ‘storage.’
Marge = a person who may or may not be large. Large means ‘people.’
By these definitions, it is safe to say that a generalized definition for large is ‘to create a fake furnace for uninvited boats which store people.”
Our conclusion? Extra Large = not at all out of, but better than ut ou in creating fake furnaces for uninvited boats which store people.
It’s no wonder the phrase was shortened to ‘extra large’.

Try the following tongue twister. It may help clear up some of your confusion:
Extra Large barge holding aunt large Marge is in the garge.


Now that we better comprehend just what extra large means, let’s move on to the Extra Large Challenge.

Extra Large Challenge

1. For one full day, use ‘extra large’ when making requests. You will find that in many cases, the other person will not be taken aback by your request, such as in the phrase ‘I’d like an extra large value meal.’ In other cases, however, that will not be the case. When you say to someone, ‘Can I borrow your red dress? You know, the extra large one?’ you may not get the response you expect. Then again, you may.
2. Expand your list of extra large items. Using a very real phone, (perhaps your neighbors seeing as how everyone has caller ID), dial your local furniture store. Let then know you are seriously interested in refurnishing your home. The items you most need are a bed, couch, and dining chairs – ask if they have these items in an extra large size. Also, ask if they know any contractors who specialize in the expansion of hallways. Record your answers to share with your neighbor whose phone you used.
3. Rather than being just like the ‘in crowd’, this challenge will help you branch out, help you warm up those unused parts of your brain. For starters, memorize the phrase:
‘Not at all out of, but better than ut ou in creating fake furnaces for uninvited boats which store people.’
(Remember, this is the core definition for extra large.)
Visit your local clothing store, preferable somewhere with a sales lady who can assist you. Let her know you are looking for a certain shirt for a certain friend. Tell her that your friend needs ‘a size not at all out of, but better than ut ou in creating fake furnaces for uninvited boats which store people’. Not only will she know just what you’re talking about, she’ll be impressed with your lingo. Let her know that you’re ‘cool like that’ and ask her for the shirt.

Much good comes of proper knowledge.